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Thursday, 3 December 2015

My Edited piece of writing by Avalon and Nazanin

My Edited Piece of Writing


On Saturday I was at my Papa's, Aunt’s and Uncle’s house getting ready for Halloween. When I saw my Papa  he was dressed up as  a spooky Zombie. I was so frightened when I saw my Papa.  I was dressed up as a purple bat. I was ready for Halloween. My Papa and I  were going around the houses asking for lollies.
When I went to the house it was very black and very spooky.  My Papa got scared. I told him don’t worry It's just a house  full of decorations. There  were  Spiderwebs, bats, witches decorations.  I knocked on the   door and out came a ghost  Man and a lady they  gave us sweets it was  yummy. I said to them next I want to go  down to  another house. It wasn't spooky at all.
The house only had spiders and a  black Witch’s  broom. I knocked on the door and out came a black witch.  The lady gave us some  chocolates and  candy.
When we stopped at Kings Road we saw my friend Zara and her Dad Babu. They were going trick or  treat  for yummy treats.  Me and my Papa were walking to Zara if we could  come with you to go  trick  or treat. They said yes then we stopped  to go down to  the cafe. We had  Hot Chocolate  and   Strawberry Cupcakes.  Then we went  down to Coates Crescent. To go to  other houses for trick or treat.   
When we saw another house that was even scarier.  I said happy trick treat  to them  and a Spider came out. The  Man gave us  some lollies  and Chocolates it was fun  at trick or treat. Then it was time to go home I said bye to my friend Zara and went home to eat all the goodies .   
Yesterday and today I have been working with Nazanin we had to read over a simple piece of writing.

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